Limbo

I feel like I’m stuck in limbo. Do you ever feel like that? It is like I’m going in a circle, a routine that will never end. It’s not all that bad. It means that I know what to expect everyday and that I don’t really have to think about it. What makes it hard for me though is when I get invited to something and can’t go, or when I hear others talking about what they’re going to do or what they did. It just bums me out because I can’t go out and have fun or work like everyone else. I understand that I have a daughter and responsibilities, but I don’t understand why that prevents me from being allowed to go anywhere. I’m not even allowed to go to the store! Of course, you’ll never hear my brother complain. This is because even if he does something wrong, like fail all his classes, he can still do whatever he wants. It’s not his fault though. Our parents are the ones who let him get away with it, so he doesn’t really know any better.

I’m just feeling stuck because I can’t go back in time to have a good time, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to move ahead. I’m afraid of what will happen after high school because not only am I unprepared to go out on my own, my parents don’t want to let me leave. I’m worried that I’ll end up like their older sons, trapped and depended on them forever. I don’t want to be and I plan to get away, but I’ll need help and those who are capable to help me are too afraid of my parents. I love my parents, but, honestly, it’s time that they quit acting like communist and start acting like actual parents.

Sena